It's so crazy to look back over the last two years. At this time 2 years ago, I was carrying a baby boy that I very much wanted. I couldn't figure out a name for him, but I knew that he would have an abundance of love. I had already miscarried a baby a few months prior, so I was terrified something would happen. Then, I started spotting. I went to the ER and saw my precious boy on the sonogram- heart beating well and all. A week later, I had more bleeding. Went back to the ER, only to find out that my baby had passed away. At the end of July, I finally had him. I never did look at him, which I regret to this day. I was only 15 weeks when I had him (although he had passed away at 12 weeks). I think it would've been more difficult to let go had I of looked at him.
Fast forward a few months to October, when I got my positive pregnancy test again. Instead of being overjoyed and happy, I was sick with fear. I had already played in this rodeo before, I knew how it would end- right as I would let myself get attached to the baby, I'd lose it. When my second trimester came without a hitch, I got the nerve to go to the doctor. It was a 3 days after Christmas- quite possibly the longest wait of my life. I went in and had a sonogram. The doctor said everything was fine, but again, I'd heard that story before. So I held my breath and waited. Soon, I was having another sonogram- only this time to figure out what I was having- another boy! Then I held my breath some more. By 25 weeks, I was fairly certain things would be ok- so I started telling people. I was still cautiously optimistic though, so I continued to hold my breath. Soon I was 36 weeks pregnant, convinced that something terrible would happen still happen to my baby. At 38 weeks, I measured 39 weeks- perfect. At 39 weeks, I measured 44 weeks- not so perfect. That day, I was told to come to the hospital and have my baby. It had been over a year since my first miscarriage, and nearly a year since my second miscarriage. I felt as though things were finally going to be okay.
So they got me settled in the hospital at 4:45 pm. By 8:15 pm, I was ready to push. At 8:30 on the dot, I got to meet the baby that I had been waiting for a long time for. He was perfect- and a linebacker at 9lbs 1oz. But he was here- healthy- and worth it!
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| Mason right after he was born- he wasn't as thrilled to meet me as I was to meet him! :) |
My pregnancy took forever and a day. I honestly thought I'd be pregnant forever. Then I had him, blinked, and he was 1 already. A whole year went by, way too quickly. But it was a good year. A year of changes, but a year of utter joy and happiness. I feel very blessed to be his mom, and I look forward to watching him grow into a polite, handsome, respectable young man.
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| Let them eat cake! |
But until then, I'll just enjoy my little man. Very much worth the wait.
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| Happy Birthday, Mason! |
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