Define Yourself

I don't understand labels. I don't understand why people tell other people what they "are". Even more so, I don't understand why people strive to follow those labels, just so those labels are true.

For instance, I have a friend who is a democrat. She is one of the biggest pro-life supporters I have ever met. However, since democrats are typically pro-choice, she ignores what she feels is right. Instead, she goes with what her label tells her, which is that abortion is ok.

As a mom to a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and an 8 month old, I've met a lot of other mommies. When I was pregnant with Trinity, I couldn't tell you who Dr. Spock was, or Dr. Sears. I could barely tell you my doctor's name (Dr. Hurt, if you can find the irony in that). I read "the bible" (aka What To Expect When You're Expecting), but that's as far as I got. I figured that learning the basics was important, but after that I needed to learn to follow my instincts.

Somehow, Trinity survived. As did Madison. And so has Mason. Crazy, I know.

Not that I'm against people who do their research- total opposite, in fact- I LOVE IT. However, I don't see why you have to strive to define yourself. Why do you have to shout to the world that you practice attachment parenting? Does it come with some sort of medal? A badge? A license to scream at random strangers since you don't scream at your child? Why can't people just follow their own version of parenting, made up of instincts and the learning process?

I refuse to define myself. I practice Laurie's Way of Parenting. So far, it has yet to fail me. A lot of what I do falls in to gentle or attached parenting, but a lot doesn't. I do what works for my family. I refuse to do something just because the majority of my parenting philosophies fall into a specific category. It doesn't make sense to me.

Another example: I have a friend who is a first time mom. I LOVE first time moms. I wish I could be a first time mom every time. Seriously, there is such an innocence and excitement about not knowing what's coming. Sure, mom's can't possibly map out their children's milestones, but after you've had one, you know the excitement that comes with hearing your baby's first "mama", or watching your baby figure out how to crawl by himself. Anyways, she is pretty "crunchy", as far as that goes. However, she does not make her own baby food. Why? She simply doesn't want to- she doesn't need an excuse. However, she refuses to admit this to her "friends" who are also crunchy, because she feels that she will be ridiculed, or not considered crunchy enough.

I'm sad that she's hiding in the non-crunchy closet.

In parenting, you make mistakes. Anyone who tells you different is not only a liar, but they're a moron as well. You're going to do something wrong, its only a matter of time. I think parenting is learning what works for your children and your family, and running with it. Forget what the "experts" say, they aren't walking in your shoes. Forget what strangers say, they have no idea what goes on in your home. Provided you're doing things safe, who cares? Quit trying to live up to labels.

End rant. :)