Drunk dressing, PTA style

I'm not a fashionista, by any means. T-shirts and jeans pretty much make up my entire wardrobe. I always feel kind of bad about it, especially when I'm dropping T off at school. Some of the moms look like they've stepped out of a fashion magazine, or a wedding picture. Then, there are the ones that dress like they let a drunk, blind midget dress them (no offense to the drunk blind midgets, I happen to like you).
This is what I've learned about fashion from dropping T off at school:

1. Just because they make it in your size, it doesn't mean its going to look good. Crushed velvet track suits do NOT look good on anyone over the age of 1. Nobody.
2. Sweat pants can cause an uncomfortable looking camel toe.
3. Bras should be mandatory. Nipples were not made to be a knee fashion accessory.
4. Sometimes its ok to wear what you wore to work when you pick up your child. Scrubs, suits, and even construction gear is ok. If you line of work involves poles, and doesn't require you to save a life, you should probably change before picking up your kid.
5. Hooker heels are FABULOUS- unless you have bunions the size of Texas, and feet that could double as sand paper.
6. If you're going to bend down to kiss your child hello, please make sure your boobs stay in your shirt.
7. If I can see an area of your body that only a gynecologist or your husband (girlfriend, whatever) can see, your skirt is too short. I should not have to school my 1st grader on human anatomy because of your "skirt".
8. I feel like I should reiterate the need for a bra. I get it- they're confining, they suck, blah blah blah. Wearing a loose fitting tank top sans bra is not only gross, but it could cause mental anguish on our young youth.

Perhaps my t-shirt and jeans isn't so bad after all.