This time change has me through a loop. I'm dead tired, but I have so much on my mind. I hate when that happens. I know I could go crawl in to bed, but I'd lie awake thinking of random stuff. Then, right as I fall asleep, Mason would wake up for a bottle. That kid has perfect timing.
The house is quiet, except for a fan running behind me. I love when the house is quiet and I am alone in my thoughts. If only I could sort them all out! I've been trying to figure out what I want to be when I "grow-up". I can't seem to make a decision. I really want to go in to nursing, but I'm not sure I have the math skills to be successful. I really hate math with a passion. Social work seemed interesting at one point, but the pay is crap. I want a job I'll enjoy, that'll give me flexible hours for the kids...pretty sure it doesn't exist.
Christmas is around the corner, which means Trinity's birthday is around the corner. I can't believe she'll be 6 already. It's crazy to think about. She's growing up so quick- they all are! Mason is SO ready to sit up by himself. He gets so mad that he can't quite get the hang of it yet. Madison is ready to rush off in to the real world, aka school. My babies are just growing way too quick.
I'm so torn about some of the people in my life. I wish I had a close circle of friends, but most of my friends are childless. They don't understand my life, which is fine, because frankly I don't understand their lives half the time. I've struggled with losing myself a little bit since I've started reproducing. It seems like with every kid I have, I lose a piece of my identity. Although, on the other hand, I feel like I grow more as a person by having my kids. Almost as if one part of me closes while another opens. I'm sure that doesn't make sense to anyone, but it makes sense in my head, so that's good enough.....right?
My brain is fried. Too much thinking, too much work trying to organize things. Christmas pictures with the family soon- I need to figure out what everyone is wearing. That is more exhausting than the actual pictures! Oy.
Off to figure out Christmas lists, and maybe to finally order Mason's hospital pictures. I know, bad mommy. It isn't like he notices! :)
1 comment:
I competely agree with your post....and I only have one baby (so far)...but some of my friends who don't have kids don't understand how I don't drop my baby at the drop of a hat to go have dinner and drinks with them. If you want, we could create our own circle of friends...however we probably live too far to hang out as often as we need/want to. Plus, I am trying to figure out our first family photo outfits as well for Christmas. So here's hoping that your day is better and that your brain clears and you take time (as I am sure you already do) to just enjoy your babies...before they do grow up!
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