It's been awhile since I posted. This is becoming a frequent leading line. When I started this blog, it was to clear my head....which frankly, needs a lot of clearing. What I didn't factor in was the time constraint, or me wondering if some of the "mind clearing" might be alarming to some- haha. Since I'm at breakdown point tonight, I figure I should probably get better about clearing out my brain. Otherwise, its likely to explode.
I kind of laugh when people tell you to put the past in the past. Yeah, you shouldn't live in the past, but it is virtually impossible to put the past in the past and keep it there. Eventually, it will sneak up and attack when you least expect it- or that seems to be the recurring theme in my life. Sometimes it's good. Other times, it seriously sucks. And unfortunately, there are times when the past can't be silenced, no matter how many times you block, delete, or ignore it.
It's like a bug that seriously. wont. die. EVER.
Not that I'm wishing my past, or anyone from it, to die. Disappear, maybe. Die? No.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with bills, with life, with kids, with school, with responsibility. I spent so many years trying to grow up and being an amazing adult, and now I would kill to be a kid for a day again. I love my kids. I love my life. But sometimes I just need to disconnect. Maybe this blast from the past was just the icing on my overwhelmed cake.
Or its doom. Whatever.
The past is NEVER just the past.
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